Shave and a Haircut

I have been looking pretty shabby lately and feeling quite fuzzy. Luckily New Delhi is a hotbed for personal grooming services. You can get your shoes shined, grab a haircut, body massage, you name it. You can usually find all of those things within yards of each other or sometimes in the same shop. I walked into a shop that cut hair, did massages, nails, sold clothes, and booked travel tours. It was a rather ambitious business model, I thought, but it seemed to be working.

I walked out of my hotel and surveyed the local barber shops. There are impromptu hair cutters that set a chair up on the sidewalk, much like a shoe shiner. I wanted to splurge a little so I opted for a barber with a roof and a more permanent mirror. I can be spoiled some times. I found a quaint little barber that had the two letters I really wanted to see on the sign: A/C. It is a hundred degrees and 100% humidity and the monsoon decided to pay a visit so it is raining like crazy to boot, so an indoor, air-conditioned shop was well worth the extra 50 rupees (about $1 US).

I walked in and to no great surprise saw the normal goings on of any good barber shop, a whole lot of newspaper reading, loud talking, and little work being done. As the bell on the door rang and I stepped through the threshold the shop went silent and all eyes turned to me. There was an older guy sitting in the barbers chair who set his glasses down his nose and peered over the lenses at me. "Hello my friend. Oh God, you need a haircut and this," he smiled as he rubbed his chin, implying I had let too much of my primate roots catch up with me. I smiled and took the chair he offered me.

He wrapped me up and went to work. It sounded like Edward Scissorhands as he jetted around my head and clumps of hair fell off. He could have been cutting me bald or writing his name in my scalp, but I was mesmerized by how the guy would eye up the cut, make a little "eh" grunt, then snip, all within a second. Within a few minutes I went from shabby backpacker to modestly well-kept backpacker. I still needed to get shaved, which I was nervous about for some reason. I had never had someone shave my face before and for some strange reason I kept having these visions of the guy slipping and blood shooting out of my neck like that "Scanners" movie. Except their heads just exploded, but you get the point.

As the guy laid me back and lathered me up I had the uncanny urge to talk in my best mafia voice and say, "Pauly, did you take care of the thing?" The guy stopped and asked, "huh?" I knew it would only be funny to me so I just said, "oh, nothing." It was an inters ting experience getting shaved. I felt like a sheep being sheered, but my face has never been smoother. When I looked in the mirror after he finished I just laughed. I looked completely different without a weeks facial hair or my Puerto-fro. It is a welcome change, though. It was well worth the experience. All in all, the shave, haircut, and uncomfortable face massage (uncomfortable because of how nice it felt, that old man has magic in his fingertips) only cost 100 rupees, and I tipped the guy another 50, so about $3 US. Its almost worth the flight over here just to get a haircut and buy some clothes. Ah, India...